


Our Turn Now

by WinJennster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, but good shit anyway, coda fic, not a fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinJennster/pseuds/WinJennster
Summary: No, I didn't label it mcd BECAUSE CAS IS NOT DEAD GODDAMMIT
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 26
Kudos: 275





	Our Turn Now

There was nothing more Dean Winchester wanted to do then curl into the fetal position on his memory foam and weep--maybe after downing several bottles of whiskey. 

He couldn't do either of these things. 

Sam needed him. 

…

He met Sam and Jack in Lebanon. His brother looked wrecked. “They all just disappeared and there was nothing Jack and I could do. And then, driving here--there’s nobody, Dean. He took everyone!”

Dean said nothing. 

“Where’s Cas?” Jack asked. 

The trembling started. Minute at first, barely shaking his frame. His eyes burned and he opened his mouth to tell them but no words came out as the shaking grew. Dean couldn’t say a thing, couldn't even get his mouth to form words. 

“Dean?” Sam’s worried voice sounded so far away. 

There was an annoying buzzing in his ears and his knees went weak. Dean couldn’t breathe and he felt that horrible crush in his chest again, but it wasn’t Billie. What was happening to him?

“Breathe, Dean, c’mon.” Sam’s voice was muffled. The world was spinning. “Dean, look at me, come on. Breathe with me? In, out, come on.” 

Sam’s hands on his shoulders worked to ground him a bit. He was sitting on the cold ground with no idea how he’d gotten there. Dean worked to sync his erratic breathing with Sam’s. In, out. In, Out. 

“Sammy,” Dean gasped. “I--I--”

“It’s ok. Just keep breathing.”

Jack knelt beside Sam, a handful of napkins in his hand. Sam thanked Jack and took a few from him. He gently wiped Dean’s face, which is when Dean realized he’d been full on sobbing. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Sam asked gently, even though his expression told Dean he already had an idea. 

Dean’s bottom lip trembled. “I didn’t get to tell him,” he whispered. 

“Tell him what?” Jack asked. 

“Cas--he’s gone. He said--he said--” A fresh wave of tears streamed down his face. All Dean could think about was the joy on Cas’s face. The peace, as he confessed his love and said goodbye. “How could he think--that I wouldn’t--that I--”

“The deal,” Jack breathed.

“What deal?” 

“When I died, and Cas came to find me in Heaven, the Empty was there. It wanted me, but Cas made a deal. He would go instead of me. But the Empty, it wasn’t satisfied with taking Cas then. It said it would wait, until Cas experienced a moment of true happiness.” Jack sighed. “You must hate me so much, Dean.”

“No, I don’t Jack. I love you. You’re as good as my kid and Cas--he made that deal ‘cause you made him feel like a father. He was protecting his son and shit, that much I get. I did the same for Sammy.”

“Dean, I am--I am so sorry,” Sam said. 

“The worst part about it,” Dean said. “He stood there and told me he loved me, Sammy. And I couldn’t--I didn’t get a chance to say it back. I had to watch that black goo swallow him up and I couldn’t say it back.” Dean didn’t even bother holding back the tears. “He thinks--he died thinking I don’t--that I don’t care--that I don’t love him when I love him with everything in me, Sammy!”

“I know. I know you do, I have for a long, long time.” 

“Everyone we know is gone. Everyone. And it wasn’t even Billie, it was Chuck. We’re all that’s left and I don’t--I don't know what to do Sam, I don’t have any answers.”

Sam’s face went hard as stone. “We get them all back. That’s what we’re going to do.”

“How?” Jack asked. 

“I don’t know,” Sam answered truthfully. “But I know us. I know we don’t stop. We’re going to figure this out and we’re going to get them all back. And then I’m going to ask Eileen to marry me and you’re going to tell Cas how you feel and we will, for the first time in our lives, have absolute free will.”

“Sammy--”

“I know it’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to find a way. And for once in your life, Dean, you’re going to let me carry this. You’re going to let me take care of you. I know you are hurting so bad and just want to drown it in alcohol and I’m not going to let you do that, ok?”

“Ok,” Dean sniffled. Jack handed him another napkin and he scrubbed at his wet face. “I’m sorry, I just--”

“Nothing to apologize for. C’mon, let’s raid that grocery over there and load up on supplies. Everything’s free, let’s load up on everything. Head back to the bunker and you’re going to get some sleep while Jack and I get to work.”

“Ok, Sammy.” Sam stood and offered his hand. Dean let him pull him to his feet. He handed the keys over. “You really think we can do this?” he asked, voice stripped and raw from crying. 

“I do.” Sam squeezed Dean’s arm. “He pulled us both out. He saved Jack. Now we save him. It’s our turn now.”

**Author's Note:**

> No, I didn't label it mcd BECAUSE CAS IS NOT DEAD GODDAMMIT


End file.
